the luckiest

i hope all of you had a wonderful father's day with the guys in your life.

ours has been the fullest and happiest yet.

and i can't help but sit here and think about my max today and the uncertainty of our lives 2 year ago. 

i look at where we're at, where he's at, and it's enough to bring me to my knees. 

he's the luckiest boy in town. 

what could have been a detriment has become his ace up the sleeve.

he is surrounded by a constant flow of love and guidance from two very different men.

but to him, they are both dad.

(p.s. i'm still working on writing about my divorce. i've been writing every week since that april post and delete every bit of it every time. i've come to the conclusion that there is no perfect way of speaking painful truths...that i might have to just go off the cuff. thank you for your patience. xoxo)

past in present

i recently found this photo of me and max's dad from 1988

when we were in kindergarten together...the same as our buddy now.

it's amazing to me how much max really does resemble that guy (although i have a lock on his big brown eyes) or how these two little ones had no idea what was in store for them.

it's such a happy picture to me...

nothing like a bit of nostalgia to get the weekend going...have a happy one!

be nice or leave

max's space in the new house is coming right along. 

there's still a lot i want to accomplish for him up there, but for now it's just right. the first thing max did when we brought him up to see his new room was dive on the bed and put his bare toes on the cold ceiling (something matt and i both remember doing when we were little ones). 

it's a good room. 

a happy place. a growing up kind of place.

max's dad is a fantastic artist and made these little wooden mustached animals for max last christmas.their faces are fashioned after our elementary and high school gym teacher. haha. 

jesse is working on a children's book about a boy named max and his gym teacher-mustached animal friends.

matt decided to finish off the attic space for max to use as a fort to hide away in. it has its original wood floor with the large gaps...perfect for stashing away love notes and treasures. 

with all the construction going on downstairs, max has started making sculptures out the extra bits of drywall. below is his striped "knight arm" sculpture...and he's nailed all the rest in this fort.

he's definitely making this place his own...

the happy and sad of it...

oh dear. where do i begin?

let's start with the good. the very good! max made it through his first day of school and it seems like a pretty fine fit. 

 

his dinner last night was hilariously awful and tense. you can't tell from the pictures so i guess i shouldn't even be speaking of it. haha. for all you can tell we all got along swimmingly and there was no 6 year old sass or complaints on where we ate or lack of extra party poppers.   

no, it wasn't that awful at all. 

we cheered and made messes and wished school year wishes and ate popsicles while watching the dark crystal. 

then we washed dirty little toes and went straight off to bed. once he was asleep i snuck into his room and kissed his head and sniffed his hair and whispered little prayers his way.

oh friends! 

he was so excited today.

i rushed home from work to find he and matt dressed and ready, but without one thing. a fact he left out until it was time to go out the door. max forgot to put on underwear. 

and with that, we were late.

 

to add to the mess, we got stuck at a train a block from school and missed the line to the classroom. his new school shoes make him trip and when we finally got to his room he tripped in front of his teacher and became devastated. he hid behind me for a second out of embarrassment. the principal saw him holding on to me and mistook it for separation anxiety and instantly came and ripped max from me. max turned into a crazed animal...kicking and yelling and reaching out to me. i was forced to turn my back and leave while max left fingernail tracks in the door.

 and i bawled. i was a big bawl baby.

and my heart broke a bit.

i guess i cried for a few reasons. i had wanted his first day to go exactly how i had it planned in my head...even down to the meeting of me and max's dad, jesse, and matt today. and nothing did. but if i've learned anything the past few years, it's that there is a lot of beauty in the unexpected. or at least something to laugh about later. and if you ask max how it went today, he doesn't even recall mauling the principal.    

but you can bet after school i scooped him up and we went straight for ice cream and french fries. we needed it.

and we're going to be there 20 minutes early tomorrow. 

...with underwear on.

guess what tomorrow is...?

max's first day of school!

(never mind the double chin....it tends to peek out when i eat fast food italian)

we're one big ball of excitement over here...and i can imagine you all are too so i can move on and talk about something else. i've got kindergarten and summer on the brain.

last week me and max and jesse went to the open house and got to shuffle around the building and meet max's teacher and new friends. he was most impressed that he gets a tiny little locker for his bag and coat. we're not hassling with cubbies this year....we're high rollers now.  

don't concern yourself with the red apple either...

 tonight is max's back to school feast...where he chooses and plans the menu and we cause all kinds of ruckus and celebrate. he asked for frozen pizza, watermelon, bottled root beer, and popsicles.

get ready broadway elementary...

here we come!