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11/16/12

happy friday and answers to some questions


matt is taking me out tonight on our first real date since phoebe was born. nursing and being the worst at pumping has pretty much kept us home these past 4 months...but tonight! tonight we throw caution to the wind and sneak out once she's asleep and grandma comes to sit. (max is away adventuring with his dad this weekend)
we have a curfew of midnight (when she's been waking up to eat again) and i have my fingers crossed that i don't fall asleep on matt by 9 o'clock. regardless, this calls for some heels and a little lipstick. 

happy happy weekend, friends!
i've spent some time answering a few of your questions...thank you so much for all of them!
i'll get to the other's next week...

Q&A after the jump
(click on "read more")

 Section 1- Mothering

What is your schedule like these days with the baby and max?- Each day is a mixed bag...my main objective is to stay super flexible! Bee is starting to form a small routine with her eating and napping but just when i think i've got it figured out she'll switch it up on me. That said, Max is up by 8 each morning for school and sis and i drop him off at 8:30. Right now Bee is eating every 2 hours and taking 1-2 long naps during the late morning and afternoon (if i'm lucky). I try to work while she's napping but most days you'll see me frantically pushing a cart around Target trying to get her to sleep. haha. Max is home by 3 and off playing with the neighbor boy most days. Bedtime is 9 and sis isn't too far behind him. She used to sleep through the night for me but is now waking up every 3 hours (midnight/3/5-6/7...ugh). 

How do you juggle being a mama and working from home...painting, blogging?- Being a mama of course comes first..and some days there isn't time for anything else. I try to create pockets of time for myself to work or decompress...but those usually come with some interruptions to change a diaper or fix a snack. The key again is to be flexible. I have to be ok with not having the dishes done or to skip a blog post one day or call in reinforcements to get out and drive around alone for 20 minutes. Prioritizing and taking my pulse and the pulse of the house is something i have to reassess every day. Needs and wants change daily. It truly is juggling...and i drop quite a few balls (usually the house cleaning/organizing/washing my hair/ balls)

What did you decide to do with Phoebe's vaccinations?- Matt and I are still undecided. We're doing the research and weighing our options but we've come to two different conclusions...and are at a bit of an impasse. Luckily, her Dr. is ok with us waiting. And while i'm breastfeeding we feel like that is buying us some valuable time. (Since antibodies are passed along through the milk). I will say though that the Dr. Sears book has been a real help!
What happened to max's "dear baby" posts? -  haha! they fizzled quick! I started to feel like a stage mom making him write those every week! he would be sad and wouldn't want to do it...and if i bribed him enough to sit and write they would become the wackiest letter you'd ever read. just nonsense and crude little boy humor. anyways, it was fun while it lasted. again...flexibility! haha.



Section 2- Relationships

Can you post wedding photos? Are you and Matt married?- Matt and I aren't legally married...although it's funny i forget that fact all the time! We are very much a team and committed to each other...a family! But we have let things grow in our relationship a little more organically than what is considered traditional. After getting divorced from Max's dad, i wasn't sure i would ever want to get legally married again. I believe in marriage wholeheartedly...what it symbolizes. But sitting in front of a judge and a stenographer and a lawyer....watching strangers decide what the fate of our marriage was when it was already decided in our hearts and with our God....changed the way i look at a legal marriage through the state. I could go on and on...but it's a pretty personal thing and very specific to my situation. Suffice it to say...maybe someday! haha. I'm pretty proud of where I am today, emotionally-speaking. But a ceremony in front of our friends and family would be pretty amazing...

How do you keep a good relationship between you and max's dad?- The only word i can use for this answer is love. Love for Max, love for each other...each other's family. Divorce didn't take away the amount of respect and love we had for each other. And while it wasn't the easiest to find our footing and there were times when we've been at odds and i never thought we'd get here, not being on the same team has never been an option. Max sees us as one collective family...and that's because we are! One big, crazy, unconventional family! On the more practical side of the question- there are things I do to make sure there is peace. Picking and choosing battles, deciding to trust, working together/being flexible, finding happiness and joy for each other's personal and professional lives. It's all very possible when you make a decision to love. 


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i'll pick back up next week with your questions about my professional life!

xoxo


24 comments:

  1. Working from home for the last two years with a little one I know how precious those nap times can be!! We loved the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" for all nap & bedtime related issues. He is still napping strong & will hopefully keep it up for a long time!

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  2. "It's all very possible when you make a decision to love." This is PROFOUND, yet so simple, yet so hard to do. We need more people in the world to make this their mantra. You are a strong woman, and I respect you so much.
    I hope you thoroughly enjoy your night out! You deserve it. xo
    (ps: I was the worst at pumping, too.. couldn't be bothered.)

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  3. Firstly, I hope you two lovebirds have a fantastic first date away from Phoebe! Secondly, I think it's amazing that you and your ex have a respectful relationship. You're setting such a good example for Max. And is it wishful thinking that I'm still hoping you and Matt wed ; )

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  4. I feel like flexibility is one of my most important parenting skills, too. I am divorced, too and thought I might never get remarried but it happened quickly and I am so grateful for the experiences I've had that have made me, me. I think it's awesome you're in a good place and doing what works for your family.

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  5. Hi Katie,
    Just wanted to tell you how much I love your blog! It's so beautiful, honest and down-to-earth. I started reading it over a year ago and read many blogs but yours is by far my favorite. Thanks for all your real Q&A responses. Have a wonderful date night!

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  6. Whether or not you have a piece of paper that says you're married, anyone who reads your blog (and I'm sure those that know you in real life) can tell how much you and Matt love and cherish one another. Your attitude towards life is unlike that of any I've seen. Love is key in all aspects of life. Have the most wonderful date tonight. :)

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  7. I love it. I feel like it is almost more conventional to have an unconventional family these days! I think I have maybe one friend left whose parents are still married to this day and who doesn't have any strange half siblings or step parents - I have all of those too! (although my one friend is adopted, so there's that.)

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  8. Both my kids stopped napping this year. its been such an adjustment! I realize how important naps had become to my day. hope you date night goes well!

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  9. I love your final answer, me and my sons dad aren't together and some people find it odd that we actually get on! but I think its so important to give my son the feeling that we are 'one big family' and also it makes it easier when you are friends and repest each other.
    I haven't found anyone else yet but i love reading your stories about you and Matt, and it makes me happy and hopefully that it will happen one day!
    Didn't realize the divorce system in america you have to actually go before a judge! (im from UK)

    Hope you have a wonderful date night!
    xx

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  10. The dreaded 4-month regression. It's happening for us, too - hang in there! We are also waiting on vaccinations, having very similar sentiments as you, but before traveling last month, we did finally decide to get the first pertussis shot. Thanks for giving us all a little inside peek on your lovely life. Have fun tonight!

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  11. Thanks for sharing this with us... Btw happy weekend to u :)

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  12. I think it is always beautiful to have "one big family" for the children involved. My sons father and I are no longer together. From the start we knew know matter what we still needed to show our son Oliver how much love and respect we still have for one another. Oh! and... my son is five and still has not been vaccinated. Only has been sick twice! I breast feed for two in a half years and is such a healthy, happy kid!

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  13. What a wonderful post, I love your answer about legal marriage too. I think more and more of our generation is doing this, and I truly think its a wonderful thing:)

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  14. Thanks for sharing these personal bits from your life; I think the most important reminder for me in reading your answers is "flexibility". I might need to get this tattooed on my wrist (or forehead) to help me remember. ;)

    xo
    cortnie

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  15. I hope you enjoyed your date! That photo of you and your little girl is so precious.

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  16. I very much enjoyed this post! I've been reading your blog a long time: thanks for opening your heart for us.

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  17. I, too, have been following your blog for awhile and this post makes me happy. Choosing to love and trust is showing your son so much maturity and tolerance, as well as the benefits of an extended family! Happy date night!

    xo

    http://sovereignsoliloquy.blogspot.com

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  18. I've read your entire (two) blogs in one sitting. Needless to say, I love them! And I someday hope to be able to take pictures like yours. I hope you had an absolutely fabulous Friday date night, from one Katie to another :)

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  19. Hope your date went well. Love your honesty in your Q&A, it is so good to hear your are not a supermum who does everything as well as washing her hair. So nice to know I am not alone, for me it is the leg shaving, not a good look in summer, but I always prioritise doing other things.

    http://iliska-dreams.blogspot.com.au/

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  20. Thank you for this great Q&A post. It is especially nice to see that you too see this whole patchwork thing as one big collective and that it can work just fine (most days at least :-) ). Hope you had a great date night!
    Love, M x

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  21. Thanks for sharing such open snippets into your life, Katie! I love popping in to read about your sweet family and found your thoughts on marriage and blended families so refreshing. You're setting such a great example for your kids :)
    ~Lily

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